June 19, 2003
The Beautiful Disease
I just wrote to a longtime friend of mine on how I was doing, in a honest way - I needed to vent.
I'm still sick after all these months.
The doctors have put me on a special diet (another one), lot of supplements and medicine to keep me going. I cannot eat any red meat, dairy products, or much fat (I MISS my deep-fried cheesy goodness!!). sometimes I feel energetic like my old self, but most days I just feel functional to go to work and go home. I'm in so much pain, still losing weight, and I'm not trying (I'm a size 3/4 and 105 lbs).
It's really weird too - everyone comments about how beautiful I look, men gawk at me now, and even my doctor says I have the looks of a model- but what does it matter if I don't feel good on the inside? I just don't know how to handle it. Only my hubby and my family really seem to see what's going on.
On top of this, I was just informed the other day that they found something wrong in my EEG (that's where they stick all the little things on your head to watch your brain waves) - the test with the flashing lights caused me to almost have a seizure, and they found something about a parabolic burst. So now my docs aren't worried about my stomach, they're freaking about something wrong there, like my seizures really aren't blood sugar after all these years. They're going to do more tests, and they want me to take some medicine that might very well make me even more lethargic. Argh!
Anywho, we're kinda broke from all the crappy medicine I have to get, so all we plan to do this summer is camp in NJ - fun on the cheap, plus I get fresh air and excercise. Maybe it will help.
I'm still sick after all these months.
The doctors have put me on a special diet (another one), lot of supplements and medicine to keep me going. I cannot eat any red meat, dairy products, or much fat (I MISS my deep-fried cheesy goodness!!). sometimes I feel energetic like my old self, but most days I just feel functional to go to work and go home. I'm in so much pain, still losing weight, and I'm not trying (I'm a size 3/4 and 105 lbs).
It's really weird too - everyone comments about how beautiful I look, men gawk at me now, and even my doctor says I have the looks of a model- but what does it matter if I don't feel good on the inside? I just don't know how to handle it. Only my hubby and my family really seem to see what's going on.
On top of this, I was just informed the other day that they found something wrong in my EEG (that's where they stick all the little things on your head to watch your brain waves) - the test with the flashing lights caused me to almost have a seizure, and they found something about a parabolic burst. So now my docs aren't worried about my stomach, they're freaking about something wrong there, like my seizures really aren't blood sugar after all these years. They're going to do more tests, and they want me to take some medicine that might very well make me even more lethargic. Argh!
Anywho, we're kinda broke from all the crappy medicine I have to get, so all we plan to do this summer is camp in NJ - fun on the cheap, plus I get fresh air and excercise. Maybe it will help.
