February 28, 2004
Back on the Path
I am finally starting to recover. I'll finish my story now.
I made it through the night. The next day at work, I told the guys how ill I was. I called the hospital - they told me most people are fine in less than a day - call my gastroenterologist. I called my "official" gastroenterologist... no response (not until much later, which by then was useless).
T- said "Come on, Mr. Magic [Dr. V-] can't help you"? I spoke to my parents, they offered to take me to the Doc too. Basically everyone wanted me to at least ask if there was anything he could do, but I was being stubborn (didn't know what to do about the moola, amongst other issues). I gave in eventually though, when I was so exhausted and my throat was so swollen I could barely focus on anything. Dr. V- said of course I could come in. He returned my call about 10 seconds before I was about to eat a piece of steak (it really was the last bit of food I had at home, but I think I was so stressed/depressed it was also my way of putting myself out of my misery). The angels above are definitely watching over me.
Before he did anything, he told me he'd take care of me for free, since I'd already seen him this week. Free! You know what the funny thing was? It's the first time in ages somebody said something like that and genuinely meant it - I didn't feel guilty, like I'd have to return the favor somehow (but I will, in whatever little ways I am able, just because I want to).
So, he checked me out. I actually had the pains while I was at the office so he was able to point it out right away. On the physical side: duodenum causing most pain (boy I get that a lot!), but colon and gallbladder also in spasm. He brought in M-. They described it as a toxic buildup, possibly an allergic reaction with the combo of the hospital stuff with the supplements. They said my right side was collapsing, though I'm not sure if they meant physical or energy-wise.
Of course, stress and fear is making the whole damn thing worse, so they looked at that too. Dr. V's first look showed current issues in love-relationship and money (this happened last time too - usually it is childhood rooted. When Dr. V- asked about it last time, my mind closed like a stone fortress and went totally blank). M- addressed survival fear, feeling small/can't breathe (the issue she'd revealed in January- I had fought it off successfully up until now), blaming self for things going wrong.
I could hear myself think Yeah, yeah, I know what the current problems are, I just don't know who to talk to!
I did tell them I'd been reading some self-help books which were very useful, but had caused me to remember a flood of painful memories. With great difficulty I shared as much as I could - I almost had a seizure from the stress though. I've always been an honest person, but speaking from my heart can be difficult for me when it comes to my past or my feelings. But they were so supportive.... I've decided that if they can help me address some lifelong issues I've had, I should make use of it.
It was onto acupuncture - in fact two acupuncture sessions and heat therapy. The first relieved the swelling in my throat, the heat relaxed me, and the third was most unique. I was still in pain on the upper right, and nauseous. Dr. V- and M- worked together like a surgical team, she'd tell him what was getting stronger, what was collapsing, and he'd put in the needles, lightening-quick and precise. Ears, arms, legs feet, head...the one that went in between the eyebrows caused something unusual - I felt like energy was rushing out of my head. While I lay there I felt spasms and fever....and then it dissipated. When it was all over, I was mostly just hungry.
I'm going to rest a few days, ramp up to my normal supplements and keep my food simple. The green soup tastes pretty nasty, but it does feel nutritious, and causes me little problems. In case that link ever goes down, I want to make a record of it:
Green Soup Recipe
One bunch parsley
3 medium zucchini
½ lb. Green beans
5 stalks celery
Steam together for 8-10 minutes.
Or partially steam and boil in ½ cup water.
If you have a steamer, you retain more nutrients and flavor with that method.
Puree in a blender.
May this all pass quickly!
I made it through the night. The next day at work, I told the guys how ill I was. I called the hospital - they told me most people are fine in less than a day - call my gastroenterologist. I called my "official" gastroenterologist... no response (not until much later, which by then was useless).
T- said "Come on, Mr. Magic [Dr. V-] can't help you"? I spoke to my parents, they offered to take me to the Doc too. Basically everyone wanted me to at least ask if there was anything he could do, but I was being stubborn (didn't know what to do about the moola, amongst other issues). I gave in eventually though, when I was so exhausted and my throat was so swollen I could barely focus on anything. Dr. V- said of course I could come in. He returned my call about 10 seconds before I was about to eat a piece of steak (it really was the last bit of food I had at home, but I think I was so stressed/depressed it was also my way of putting myself out of my misery). The angels above are definitely watching over me.
Before he did anything, he told me he'd take care of me for free, since I'd already seen him this week. Free! You know what the funny thing was? It's the first time in ages somebody said something like that and genuinely meant it - I didn't feel guilty, like I'd have to return the favor somehow (but I will, in whatever little ways I am able, just because I want to).
So, he checked me out. I actually had the pains while I was at the office so he was able to point it out right away. On the physical side: duodenum causing most pain (boy I get that a lot!), but colon and gallbladder also in spasm. He brought in M-. They described it as a toxic buildup, possibly an allergic reaction with the combo of the hospital stuff with the supplements. They said my right side was collapsing, though I'm not sure if they meant physical or energy-wise.
Of course, stress and fear is making the whole damn thing worse, so they looked at that too. Dr. V's first look showed current issues in love-relationship and money (this happened last time too - usually it is childhood rooted. When Dr. V- asked about it last time, my mind closed like a stone fortress and went totally blank). M- addressed survival fear, feeling small/can't breathe (the issue she'd revealed in January- I had fought it off successfully up until now), blaming self for things going wrong.
I could hear myself think Yeah, yeah, I know what the current problems are, I just don't know who to talk to!
I did tell them I'd been reading some self-help books which were very useful, but had caused me to remember a flood of painful memories. With great difficulty I shared as much as I could - I almost had a seizure from the stress though. I've always been an honest person, but speaking from my heart can be difficult for me when it comes to my past or my feelings. But they were so supportive.... I've decided that if they can help me address some lifelong issues I've had, I should make use of it.
It was onto acupuncture - in fact two acupuncture sessions and heat therapy. The first relieved the swelling in my throat, the heat relaxed me, and the third was most unique. I was still in pain on the upper right, and nauseous. Dr. V- and M- worked together like a surgical team, she'd tell him what was getting stronger, what was collapsing, and he'd put in the needles, lightening-quick and precise. Ears, arms, legs feet, head...the one that went in between the eyebrows caused something unusual - I felt like energy was rushing out of my head. While I lay there I felt spasms and fever....and then it dissipated. When it was all over, I was mostly just hungry.
I'm going to rest a few days, ramp up to my normal supplements and keep my food simple. The green soup tastes pretty nasty, but it does feel nutritious, and causes me little problems. In case that link ever goes down, I want to make a record of it:
Green Soup Recipe
One bunch parsley
3 medium zucchini
½ lb. Green beans
5 stalks celery
Steam together for 8-10 minutes.
Or partially steam and boil in ½ cup water.
If you have a steamer, you retain more nutrients and flavor with that method.
Puree in a blender.
May this all pass quickly!
February 26, 2004
Jesus, Help Me...
I shouldn't have done that CCK scan at the hospital. Since then I've been having pain over and over, everytime I eat - just as if they were giving me the test time and again.
I don't want to go to the hospital. What they do to me would probably make things worse. Not even Dr. V- can help this time. He told me to stop all my supplements for now, and if it doesn't improve to go.
If I make it through breakfast, I'm going to try castor oil pack, green soup & beet recipe treatment I found.
I don't want to go to the hospital. What they do to me would probably make things worse. Not even Dr. V- can help this time. He told me to stop all my supplements for now, and if it doesn't improve to go.
If I make it through breakfast, I'm going to try castor oil pack, green soup & beet recipe treatment I found.
February 23, 2004
The CCK Hida Scan & More
I'm in the intense 8 week treatment to rebuild/retrain my immune system (yep, that's progress). It seems to be going well, save for two other additions: a soy protein powder for more protein, and a bile pill. I think it's actually the bile pill, because of what I felt today...
Today I did the CCK Hida scan in the hospital, which checks to see if my gallbladder is too fast/too slow/has any blockages. We'll see what the official word is, but the tech tells me it looks normal in terms of structure, and no stones. I give myself a big pat on the back today for not throwing up (the cck stuff makes you sick), not seizing from hypoglycemia (had to fast overnight plus 5 hours!) and meditating to keep myself relaxed and well, even if it did look strange to everyone else. I still hurt every time I eat though - argh! I hope it passes. Interestingly, the tech said that this test is kind of useless, because it forces the gallbladder to push with a hormone - and what doctor would be standing around doing that all the time to get your gallbladder going? That's probably what the bile pill I have does.
Two more "mainstream" tests to go...
-----------------------------------------------------
A lot of things are in change for me right now, both physically and emotionally. I feel like my life is at a major crossroad. Between reading The Magic of Thinking Big and The Highly Sensitive Person, I have been understanding a lot more about myself. In fact, last night I had a most unique dream:
I saw two starving babies, which someone was taking care of. She told me they were mine. I knew them right away (they looked like me when I was a baby), and I called them by name: Creativity and Magic (I know that's not literal, it's a joke term we use for alternative medicine: "voodoo magic"). I told them I'd promise to feed them so they could grow only if they promised not to take over my entire life. They nodded and I took them into my arms, and was very happy.
Today I did the CCK Hida scan in the hospital, which checks to see if my gallbladder is too fast/too slow/has any blockages. We'll see what the official word is, but the tech tells me it looks normal in terms of structure, and no stones. I give myself a big pat on the back today for not throwing up (the cck stuff makes you sick), not seizing from hypoglycemia (had to fast overnight plus 5 hours!) and meditating to keep myself relaxed and well, even if it did look strange to everyone else. I still hurt every time I eat though - argh! I hope it passes. Interestingly, the tech said that this test is kind of useless, because it forces the gallbladder to push with a hormone - and what doctor would be standing around doing that all the time to get your gallbladder going? That's probably what the bile pill I have does.
Two more "mainstream" tests to go...
-----------------------------------------------------
A lot of things are in change for me right now, both physically and emotionally. I feel like my life is at a major crossroad. Between reading The Magic of Thinking Big and The Highly Sensitive Person, I have been understanding a lot more about myself. In fact, last night I had a most unique dream:
I saw two starving babies, which someone was taking care of. She told me they were mine. I knew them right away (they looked like me when I was a baby), and I called them by name: Creativity and Magic (I know that's not literal, it's a joke term we use for alternative medicine: "voodoo magic"). I told them I'd promise to feed them so they could grow only if they promised not to take over my entire life. They nodded and I took them into my arms, and was very happy.
February 14, 2004
A Happier Valentine's Day
Much better than last year! No pesticide filled, ridiculously priced roses for me (hubby got me a card with paper roses :) ). Tummy is doing great today, and my mind is all here (last year I practically passed out!).
Happy happy day!
Happy happy day!
February 13, 2004
Exorcise - or Excercise - the Demons?
My weight has been steady as she goes at about 92.5, and I'm feeling pretty good overall. There is a coating of flesh now over my hands, cheeks and ribs, for which I am very happy! So the focus has been on building up muscle with excercise and mental care for the most part.
On the physical side:
I found a very good video this month, called Gentle Fitness. I love it because there are a variety of ages on the tape with different levels of health. I felt inspired by what I could do with this video instead of discouraged by watching others that require a lot of energetic bouncing around. And for me it was still quite a workout! I recommend it to anyone with limited energy or mobility, and got copies for some of my family.
My current treatments are focused on rebuilding my immune system. Right now my body is attacking things it shouldn't and is staring stupidly at things it should be fighting. :P We're going to reteach it, but it means over the next two months that tummy issues might go crazy. But at least I can plan for it.
Dr. V- also gave his blessings now to get the standard colonoscopy and such - I'm stable enough now. I'm still scared of the tests, but if they'll help me make progress, I guess I gotta!
On the mental side:
I've been working a bit with M- and the QXCI... it's scary how accurate both are about me. Dr. V- then bases his treatment on thier results. I guess you can talk your head off in therapy and not really get at the mental root of problems either! Anyway, as a result, I have over the past couple of weeks been able to identify destructive behavioral patterns, as well as find a lot of really good qualities about myself I can be proud of. I found a book to help me with it too, The Highly Sensitive Person. It's been a bit nerve wracking to go through all this mental baggage, but I'm becoming a new person. My creativity has returned big time, and I am much more confident - I even sit and walk straighter (I discovered I was physically shrinking around people!).
...I suppose the recent opportunity to be a computer tutor at Dr. V-'s has had a bit of an effect too, admittedly. Last week I mentioned how I'd love to fix their website...and things just went from there. I saw the opportunity, and saw my future flash before my eyes. If it works out, I no longer burden anyone else with paying my medical bills, relieve work stress off of my hubby, get to do something I love to do (I enjoy teaching, though I never admitted it before), and get to socialize with people I genuinely like. I give back to people everyone who's helped me - that makes me happy.
On the physical side:
I found a very good video this month, called Gentle Fitness. I love it because there are a variety of ages on the tape with different levels of health. I felt inspired by what I could do with this video instead of discouraged by watching others that require a lot of energetic bouncing around. And for me it was still quite a workout! I recommend it to anyone with limited energy or mobility, and got copies for some of my family.
My current treatments are focused on rebuilding my immune system. Right now my body is attacking things it shouldn't and is staring stupidly at things it should be fighting. :P We're going to reteach it, but it means over the next two months that tummy issues might go crazy. But at least I can plan for it.
Dr. V- also gave his blessings now to get the standard colonoscopy and such - I'm stable enough now. I'm still scared of the tests, but if they'll help me make progress, I guess I gotta!
On the mental side:
I've been working a bit with M- and the QXCI... it's scary how accurate both are about me. Dr. V- then bases his treatment on thier results. I guess you can talk your head off in therapy and not really get at the mental root of problems either! Anyway, as a result, I have over the past couple of weeks been able to identify destructive behavioral patterns, as well as find a lot of really good qualities about myself I can be proud of. I found a book to help me with it too, The Highly Sensitive Person. It's been a bit nerve wracking to go through all this mental baggage, but I'm becoming a new person. My creativity has returned big time, and I am much more confident - I even sit and walk straighter (I discovered I was physically shrinking around people!).
...I suppose the recent opportunity to be a computer tutor at Dr. V-'s has had a bit of an effect too, admittedly. Last week I mentioned how I'd love to fix their website...and things just went from there. I saw the opportunity, and saw my future flash before my eyes. If it works out, I no longer burden anyone else with paying my medical bills, relieve work stress off of my hubby, get to do something I love to do (I enjoy teaching, though I never admitted it before), and get to socialize with people I genuinely like. I give back to people everyone who's helped me - that makes me happy.
February 06, 2004
Excercise Flop - a Happy Accident
Well a gentle Tai Chi video I rented a was flop - the stretching was good and easy to follow... after that I had no idea what was going on! But I could see, like yoga, it had great potential for help me get fit without bopping around.
I searched around the net for any free excercise video I could find, and bumped into this - Falun Dafa. I freaked when I saw the Falun symbol, thinking this was some kind of political thing (it's not - see the home page) but the rest of the the video is good. Too bad it's a bit fuzzy, but they describe everything REALLY well. It's nice too because it deals with the physical stuff and energy fields. I'm going to save a copy to my machine for future use.
I searched around the net for any free excercise video I could find, and bumped into this - Falun Dafa. I freaked when I saw the Falun symbol, thinking this was some kind of political thing (it's not - see the home page) but the rest of the the video is good. Too bad it's a bit fuzzy, but they describe everything REALLY well. It's nice too because it deals with the physical stuff and energy fields. I'm going to save a copy to my machine for future use.
Junk in Disguise.
I remember when I first started my healing process and detoxification, I was surpirsed to learn that vegetarians don't always eat healthy - they don't eat meat, but some seem to have no problems stuffing themselves with candies and chocolates. What's the point? After shopping around in various health food stores and reading healthy magazines, you start to notice that not everything is as healthy as it looks.
Take soy, which everyone is ga-ga for. Read a new article on it from Dr. Mercola, confirming what I'd heard whispered quietly for awhile: fermented soy products like tempeh, miso, natto and sprouts are ok, but all those processed burgers, ice creams and chesse suck. The block protein, mess with hormones, and clump up your red blood cells (this explains why my live cell microscopy test was a messa while ago!).
I'll stick to my kale, green beans and salmon for calcium - whole foods, thank you very much!
Take soy, which everyone is ga-ga for. Read a new article on it from Dr. Mercola, confirming what I'd heard whispered quietly for awhile: fermented soy products like tempeh, miso, natto and sprouts are ok, but all those processed burgers, ice creams and chesse suck. The block protein, mess with hormones, and clump up your red blood cells (this explains why my live cell microscopy test was a messa while ago!).
I'll stick to my kale, green beans and salmon for calcium - whole foods, thank you very much!
February 04, 2004
Whew! Ups and downs!
I had a bit of a relapse. The pain was so bad, and the swelling so intense, I had to drop down to bare essentials in the food department - soft and gooey. Ugh. Not sure if it's the new essential fatty acids I'm taking, but I know I need em...
My liver seems to be starting to do its thing though. My Biocleanse session, for the first time was very light last week...kind of a light yellow-orange, instead of kool-aid orange. Yippie! Dr. V- has had me try more self-treatment so I can do this on my own. It means at least an hour or two daily, but it seems to be helping somehow. My QXCI session is a little faster too this week.
Hubby noted that today two people with stinky perfume passed me and I didn't notice. He's pretty sure that whatever happened yesterday has affected me in a positive way. I hope I can stay on an upswing!
My liver seems to be starting to do its thing though. My Biocleanse session, for the first time was very light last week...kind of a light yellow-orange, instead of kool-aid orange. Yippie! Dr. V- has had me try more self-treatment so I can do this on my own. It means at least an hour or two daily, but it seems to be helping somehow. My QXCI session is a little faster too this week.
Hubby noted that today two people with stinky perfume passed me and I didn't notice. He's pretty sure that whatever happened yesterday has affected me in a positive way. I hope I can stay on an upswing!
