September 24, 2004
Milestones Reached: Today's the Day
Last Tuesday, I made it to my goal.
The scale said 100.5 pounds.
Funny, I wasn't quite happy - I wasn't quite sad. But I did tell people close to me, who in turn told everyone else.
The scale said 100.5 pounds.
Funny, I wasn't quite happy - I wasn't quite sad. But I did tell people close to me, who in turn told everyone else.
- Hubby almost cried as he gave me a squishy hug.
- Mom, Dad and my cousin G- cheered.
- When I saw W-, and gave him a hug, he said something to the effect of 'my, you've become ample' and indicated even a near blind man could see some curves again (in his typical joking style.
- And Dr. V-, very happy, said "What a woman you have become!" and proceeded to later ask others if they agreed.
This past weekend I went on my first historical reenactment event in over two years. It was a challenge still, but it was my way of saying to the world "I am back".
I also started to practice a little belly dancing at home - just a little bit... I discovered I really like to dance, when I have the energy!
...And today, I tell my old company that is is time for my life to change again. I am scared, a little sad. Change is hard. I don't know whether I will be successful or what will happen in the future, but if I don't take the chance I will never know what I could be.
God, please guide my path, give me the inner strength to continue on.
September 13, 2004
Shamanic Dreams
I took a shamanic drumming class yesterday for the first time, and discovered, if you are looking for an excellent mode of visualization, a way to hear your inner voice... this is a good one!
It wound up being a one on one session, which was wonderful, because it gave me time to ask questions about the process.
After talking for a bit, the teacher (I don't know if they have titles for this stuff?) did a healing around me - and said there were entities around me... good guides, guardian angels, nature spirits...whatever terms I suppose you like to use. Then I layed down to open my mind to journey and ask my questions.
In short, I went deep down, and saw many things...most profound were visions of a stag with antlers like trees of life with a robin, a hand glowing with color within and streaming from the fingers, me gathering herbs (older?), and a heart symbol overlapping a triangle. Afterward I described the entire thing to my teacher, she said I went into the lower realms, the shadow realm, and met my animal guide.
Whatever it was, it was helpful, and enjoyable. I may do it again sometime!
It wound up being a one on one session, which was wonderful, because it gave me time to ask questions about the process.
After talking for a bit, the teacher (I don't know if they have titles for this stuff?) did a healing around me - and said there were entities around me... good guides, guardian angels, nature spirits...whatever terms I suppose you like to use. Then I layed down to open my mind to journey and ask my questions.
In short, I went deep down, and saw many things...most profound were visions of a stag with antlers like trees of life with a robin, a hand glowing with color within and streaming from the fingers, me gathering herbs (older?), and a heart symbol overlapping a triangle. Afterward I described the entire thing to my teacher, she said I went into the lower realms, the shadow realm, and met my animal guide.
Whatever it was, it was helpful, and enjoyable. I may do it again sometime!
September 11, 2004
A Good Thought to Remember
About two weeks or so ago, I took my first sounding class (sound therapy by using your voice to heal yourself and others). It was facinating and useful to me, but the thing I really took away from it was what the instructor said. She noted I have a very busy, active mind, full of thought. I came in, burdened with worry and fear. She said that every day, one of the things she says to herself is
I expect nothing, and open my heart to the love of the universe.
That was it! I had so many expectations of what I thought I had to do, and what others had to do, that I was causing my own upset, my own disconnection. I just have to let go, and take in what's here, now. What a good thought she had - I hope I can remember it.
I expect nothing, and open my heart to the love of the universe.
That was it! I had so many expectations of what I thought I had to do, and what others had to do, that I was causing my own upset, my own disconnection. I just have to let go, and take in what's here, now. What a good thought she had - I hope I can remember it.
Milestone Reached: The Bike Ride
Today, I got on my mountain bike for the first time since I took ill and rode on the old trail by my home with Hubby. When I washed the dust off the bike, and passed through the metal gates of the trail, it felt good.
Even better was the fact that this was the first bike ride ever that didn't cause me to have any hypoglycemia fluxuations or muscle cramps. Was it the yoga? The food I eat? Though I was weaker than I was at my peak, I handled the ride a lot better!
My goal was to get to the natural earth bridge... a place about a 15 minute walk away. I wound up biking 2 miles, to a peaceful place I have seen many times in my visualizations dring my trying times. Almost no one goes there...large trees reaching to the sky, a babbling brook, and a natural stone bridge.
I lived to see it again. I almost cried when I stopped to look at it again. I'm tearing up just thinking about how significant it is to me. Thank you God, for letting me get there.
Even better was the fact that this was the first bike ride ever that didn't cause me to have any hypoglycemia fluxuations or muscle cramps. Was it the yoga? The food I eat? Though I was weaker than I was at my peak, I handled the ride a lot better!
My goal was to get to the natural earth bridge... a place about a 15 minute walk away. I wound up biking 2 miles, to a peaceful place I have seen many times in my visualizations dring my trying times. Almost no one goes there...large trees reaching to the sky, a babbling brook, and a natural stone bridge.
I lived to see it again. I almost cried when I stopped to look at it again. I'm tearing up just thinking about how significant it is to me. Thank you God, for letting me get there.
